I'm Not Cranky Because I'm a Gimp, I'm Cranky Because You Suck

I have always been a cranky person. I was bitter and jaded long before I ever landed myself in a wheelchair. I watched the news, I looked around me. Even from the seat of Small Whitebread Town, I realized pretty early on that there's a whole hell of a lot wrong with the world. It doesn't take a genius to see that if a major news network spends more time discussing some celebrity clothing snafu or Oprah's weight than the latest genocide, there's a problem. A big one.

The thing that got to me was that everyone would always question my outlook. 'Why are you so bitter?'. 'Don't be such a pessimist!". Pessimist? Bitter? I was a realist! I looked around me and saw nothing but small minded people with no awareness of anything outside their own bubble. I was just pointing out the truth. But apparently that wasn't 'cool' back when I was in high school. This was before the trend of political outrage, black T-shirts and bad haircuts. I found my solace in MTV cartoons and the writing of angry feminists. Crankiness calls to crankiness. I was 'weird'. I was 'morbid'. I read big long books that no one else had ever heard of. Forget that I was a lesbian, that was no big deal. But I read too much and I didn't smile enough and I cared about politics and global issues. Clearly, I was a freak of the highest degree.

These days, it's normal for teenagers to be screaming balls of vaguely politically aware anger. They don't always understand what they're angry about, but by god are they angry! My own age group, however, still retains much of their High School attitudes. There's the occasional sympathetic nod and 'those poor people' whenever tragedy strikes, and the generic rhetoric either for or against Bush. But really, it's still all about the latest fashion and what sport team is going to the big game and whether or not Suri Cruise is a robot or not.

The difference now? I'm disabled. It's okay for me to be cranky these days. Apparently I've earned it or something. I'm still a freak, but now I'm a freak to be pitied, not feared. Poor, poor me, cut down so young, my life it is over.... it's no wonder I'm cranky and angry at the world!

I call bullshit, but no one ever listens. Their heads are too far up their media papered asses to really actually care what I have to say. I'm just the angry dyke in the wheelchair. I'm pissed off at the world because the world screwed me over.

Correction there. Some doctors who couldn't tell their elbow from their ass screwed me over. I'm not pissed off at the world, and it isn't because I'm disabled. I'm pissed off at the people in positions of power who can't seem to get their acts together.

The world's more a mess now than it was when I first looked beyond my own nose. I think we've all earned the right to be cranky.