Handle With Care

One of the perilous pit falls of anime conventions are the glomps. A glomp is, as defined by Wikipedia, that bastion of all knowledge, 'is a form of greeting used by anime fans in the West. A typical "glomp" involves bear hugging someone, tackling them, and latching on tightly, though not enough to intentionally hurt the recipient.'.

'Not intended' being the key words there. Some us - *cough cough*me*cough cough* - aren't exactly glompable. But short of a giant neon sign that says 'DISABLED! NO TOUCH!' there is little way to defend from the glomps. Most people are polite and ask first. But then... then there are the fanboys.

They roam the convention halls, waiting for their moment to strike. They are silent, and pounce with the full weight of their pocky and ramune fed bodies behind them. Often, they let loose great battle-cries in fanhish Japanese - senseless, stupid and terrifying to the unsuspecting victim.

My first and worst experience occurred Saturday night, while still in my Lust costume. I was standing at the foot of some stairs, smoking away in one of the tucked away smoking sections. I was enjoying some peace and quiet, minding my own business, when I hear 'LUST!' and turn just in time to see, with a horrified expression coming over my face, a giant teenage boy run down the stairs at me and grab me, lifting me up and squeezing me.

I had but one reaction:

"I HAVE A BROKEN BACK NO BAD PUT ME DOWN PLEASE!!!!"

Not one of my smoothest moments, I admit. But really, how many of us are actually smooth in a panic situation? Especially with shooting pain happily dancing along one's spine. Not exactly conducive to witty comebacks, let me tell you. I was apologized to, and soothed with pocky. All through the night I suffered further surprise glomps, though none that involved picking me up.

I live in terror of the glomps. But alas, I have yet to find a way to properly defend myself against roving fan boys.

Maybe a costume covered in metal spikes....

Not Just For Nabakov Anymore!

On Sunday on the fateful convention, I participated in a Lolita Tea Party. I was dressed up and given tea and cookies and cake by very nice women. I also was sung Happy Birthday for the third time that day, it was quite an experience. I wandered away with a box of cookies and some bags of tea.

What exactly is a lolita tea party, you may be asking. It is a tea party hosted and attended by those who ascribe to a fashion that began in Japan. The lolita fashion. I'm dolled up in a common example of EGL - Elegant Gothic Lolita. The fashion revolves around clothing inspired by Victorian children's clothing. It's incredibly complex, and very easy to get wrong. There are rules. These rules must be obeyed, or dozens of women online will try and rape your soul. I've seen it. It isn't pretty.

As I said, there are rules. And it's very easy to screw up and make a fool of yourself in front of the real lolitas.

As my lifestyle lolita friend told me in explicit detail. I may not be able to tell you what is lolita, but I can tell you what isn't! Oh, can I tell you what isn't.... even beyond the basic 'anything bought at Hot Topic'.

It's an interesting fashion, and I actually find myself enamored of it. So much so that I own a skirt and headdress from Japanese brand retailers. Basically, insanely expensive clothes from Japan. I got good deals on them, though.

There's a part of my brain that is still screaming 'twenty-mumble year old women do not dress up like small Victorian girls!'. But it's drowned out by the rest of my brain that retorts with simple: 'STFU, I look good.'

How Many Anime Geeks Can You Fit In a Phonebooth?

Imagine, 2,000 irritated, sweating, food-starved anime geeks all shoved into one dealer's room. Imagine a dealer's room lacking in quality merchandise or fair prices. Imagine dozens of brain-dead con-denizens holding signs proclaiming 'pocky for kisses!' and other such sexually harrassive slogans. Imagine panels that never start on time and are moved without any prior notice. Imagine a staff of the utmost incompetance, unable to communicate with one another over even the most simple of things.

This? Was AniZona, the annual Arizona anime convention. This? Was where I spent most of my time in the designated smoking area of the hotel, and wandering around with a rag-tag group of fellow con-goers, mostly ignoring the actual convention. We found some amazing restaurants in Mesa, discovered that Walgreens was actually a two mile walk from the hotel, not half a mile, and learned that the cashier at the local McDonald's was a fellow anime fan and greatly appreciated out costumes.

It was not a bad convention, as far as my experience went. Other than the numerous perverts who asked me to pose in suggestive situations for them and the fact that the designated smoking section was so horribly hidden, I had a good time. Hey, when a bunch of costumed geeks get together, we can entertain ourselves. And I did get free merchandise in the Dealer's Room - a Yoko Molotov original with the autograph 'to the chick with the amazing tits', a few posters, some story image figures.... a good haul, for nothing other than wearing a slinky dress that shows a bountiful amount of cleavage.

The first night we watched whatever movies were on basic cable. Apparently, it was Kevin Bacon Rape night, as every movie we came across involved Kevin Bacon either raping someone or being raped. We weren't entirely certain what to think about this, as they were all spread across different channels. Coincidence, or Kevin Bacon conspiracy? You be the judge.

Saturday I couldn't find my underwear, and I believe our male hotel guest was using my suitecase as a pillow. I pulled on my Lust dress hastily, and tossed on my wig - can't be see out of costume, after all - and wandered down regimental for a smoke. Upon returning, Bear (my best friend from Seattle) wanted to go grab breakfast. Queenie (our male roommate) was still sound asleep, and so I trekked all the way down to a small, organic coffee house sans panties. I will never do that again. Saturday brought some Dealer's Room perusing, some photoshoots, and the pool. And 4$ hot dog platters at the local bar and grill. There was a rave, but we didn't quite care. Anime raves? Are pathetic.

Sunday was my Ouran Host Club themed birthday party, which we invited anyone who wanted to come to. We did this by setting up and then yelling 'FREE CAKE!' to anyone who walked by. I had Mario and Captain Jack Sparrow at my birthday party, I call that a success.

And most importantly, I discovered amongst the throngs a friend. Someone who lives near enough to my own middle-of-nowhere abode that we can get together. Plans are already in gear for Anime Vegas in September.

Oh, and as to my sporadic updates? I'm working. Money makes the world go round, as they say, and I have a small Ebay business getting off the ground. Google Ads don't pay the bills. Or wig fees. ;)