Handle With Care

One of the perilous pit falls of anime conventions are the glomps. A glomp is, as defined by Wikipedia, that bastion of all knowledge, 'is a form of greeting used by anime fans in the West. A typical "glomp" involves bear hugging someone, tackling them, and latching on tightly, though not enough to intentionally hurt the recipient.'.

'Not intended' being the key words there. Some us - *cough cough*me*cough cough* - aren't exactly glompable. But short of a giant neon sign that says 'DISABLED! NO TOUCH!' there is little way to defend from the glomps. Most people are polite and ask first. But then... then there are the fanboys.

They roam the convention halls, waiting for their moment to strike. They are silent, and pounce with the full weight of their pocky and ramune fed bodies behind them. Often, they let loose great battle-cries in fanhish Japanese - senseless, stupid and terrifying to the unsuspecting victim.

My first and worst experience occurred Saturday night, while still in my Lust costume. I was standing at the foot of some stairs, smoking away in one of the tucked away smoking sections. I was enjoying some peace and quiet, minding my own business, when I hear 'LUST!' and turn just in time to see, with a horrified expression coming over my face, a giant teenage boy run down the stairs at me and grab me, lifting me up and squeezing me.

I had but one reaction:

"I HAVE A BROKEN BACK NO BAD PUT ME DOWN PLEASE!!!!"

Not one of my smoothest moments, I admit. But really, how many of us are actually smooth in a panic situation? Especially with shooting pain happily dancing along one's spine. Not exactly conducive to witty comebacks, let me tell you. I was apologized to, and soothed with pocky. All through the night I suffered further surprise glomps, though none that involved picking me up.

I live in terror of the glomps. But alas, I have yet to find a way to properly defend myself against roving fan boys.

Maybe a costume covered in metal spikes....